When it's time to move your loved one into assisted living, there is a lot to worry about. It can be overwhelming to pack up belongings, sort what goes into storage and what moves. Utilities, subscriptions, and other change of address issues have to be handled. In the middle of all that, you might be faced with a reluctant parent or loved one.

Preparation is the key to a smooth transition. Make your plans in advance, even if your parent is not on board with the idea. Spend a lot of time researching different options and talking about it with them. You can take a few baby steps, like packing up some of their possessions and cleaning out forgotten closets so you have less to deal with later. When the time comes that an assisted living facility is needed, there won't be as many surprises. Many people don't want to move because they're afraid or are overwhelmed by all of the work and changes.

Your parents should be involved in the decision making, but know their limitations. It is a lot easier and less stressful of you take care of the initial research and then show them the options. Create lists of decisions and tasks to complete, and let your parent decide what they can handle and what they'd like to leave to you. Mom might not care one bit how her room is decorated or which direction her room faces, and she might have very strong feelings about which moving company takes her furniture to the storage building. Another parent might be the exact opposite.

Let them have as much control as possible. As you get older, more and more decisions in your life are made by others. Moving to assisted living is in many ways the opposite of going to college. Young people are excited to leave, as they are entering a world of freedom, independence, and new beginings. Many feel the transition to assisted living is a sort of giving up. Be sensitive to these feelings and acknowledge that they are losing control of many things.

Figure out what everyone's roles are. Someone has to be in charge, but it doesn't always have to be the same person. If you are the person who takes care of everything from scheduling the plumber to taking Dad to doctor's appointments, maybe a sibling can spearhead the hunt for an assisted living home.

If you're more comfortable staying in control, then look at the skills and talents of your family members and find ways they can help you. Your lovable but flighty little brother may be the perfect person to take mom and dad to tour potential assisted living facilities, as he can find the bright side in anything. The older sister who isn't comfortable talking about medical problems and seems to avoid coming to visit might jump at the chance to help figure out financial issues, a subject that may be more comfortable.

Seize opportunities when you find them. When your parent is feeling cooperative, leap at the chance. If you've found a place that everyone loves and it has an opening, grab it. Sometimes you might find yourself waiting months for a vacancy at your chosen assisted living facility. When you have a chance, take it.

If you would like to read more articles on assisted living, visit www.OurCareCommunity.com - a free resource built on the ideas of virtual community and social networking. Members can share their ideas and experiences, find the latest information on senior care issues, and connect with other members to get answers and advice.

Contributing Editor: Julie Sanocki, CNA

Julie is a Certified Nursing Assistant and has over 10 years experience in eldercare. Having been a family member arranging senior care as well as a professional providing it, she understands the needs and concerns of all involved.


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